Post by Daron Smythe on May 3, 2023 20:00:04 GMT -5
It was a rainy evening in the small town of Ashfield, and Daron Smythe was making his way towards the local church. He walked with purpose, his coat collar turned up against the rain that fell in a steady drizzle. The streets were quiet, the only sound the squelch of his footsteps on the wet pavement.
For Daron, this was no ordinary walk. He was heading to the church to attend confessional, something he hadn't done in over five years. He had always had a complicated relationship with the church, at times feeling a deep connection to his faith and the community it provided, but at other times feeling disillusioned and angry at the hypocrisy and corruption he saw within the institution.
The memories of those negative experiences weighed heavy on his mind as he walked, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation as he approached the church doors. Would he be judged for his absence, or welcomed back with open arms? Would the priest understand his struggles, or dismiss them as weakness?
Daron took a deep breath and pushed open the heavy wooden door, the familiar scent of incense and wax candles enveloping him as he stepped inside. The interior of the church was dimly lit, the glow of the candles casting flickering shadows on the walls. Despite the gloom, Daron could feel the sense of peace that always seemed to permeate the air within these walls.
He made his way to the confessional booth, his heart pounding in his chest. As he sat down and began to speak to the priest on the other side of the partition, he felt a flood of emotions wash over him. Guilt, shame, fear, but also a glimmer of hope and a desire for redemption.
DARON: *deep sigh before making the sign of the cross* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been over five years since my last confession...
PRIEST: Please, have a seat. The church is always welcoming even to those that have been gone for a long time...
DARON: *shifting uncomfortablly* See...that's the thing, Father. I've never felt all that welcome by the church. The last time I was in a church it was to bury my dad, about five years ago and even so...
PRIEST: It doesn't matter how long you've been gone, my son. As long as you come back.
DARON: *laughs* Son, huh? I buried my actual father near this church five years ago - you know my first memory of my dad?
PRIEST: I'm sure it was something wonderful...
DARON: *scoffs* Yeah...I was about two and a half. My mom found out my dad was cheating and finally called him out for his bullshit. He, in a cocaine fueled rage, threw a chair across the room at her. It came about eighteen inches from me. My mom finally mustered the courage to tell him to get out.
PRIEST: Surely, you must see God's protection in that moment?
DARON: God's protection?! Hell, my dad ran around scot free for at least seven years after that and my mom never saw a dime. He ran around with every skirt who came into his restaurant. Meanwhile, my mom struggled to make ends meet - worked her ass off every single day to provide while at the same time having door after door shut in her face. I admired her as a young child - watched her work her way up in an accounting firm in 1989 when that firm suddenly decided a degree was more valuable than her experience and let her go. In a depressed area like Wheeling, West Virginia, good jobs were hard to come by. But that lady did everything she could - she brushed herself off, went back to school, got a new job, and these days? She's doing better than ever.
PRIEST: Surely, you can see God's plan play out in her.
DARON: You mean all that struggle? No matter what she did it took 30+ years for her to live comfortably? Meanwhile the man who cheated and beat her got to run around town doing as he pleased? Tell me how that's fair, huh? Tell me how to find the God in that one, padre.
PRIEST: In the end, she is doing well - aren't you happy for her now?
DARON: My mom will never have to work another day in her life if she doesn't want to when I win that UWL World Championship. She says she will, but I won't allow it. I'll buy that house she's been renting that she loves. I'll put the money aside for her expenses. I'll make sure she's well taken care of.
PRIEST: Despite all the hardships you've gone through, you can't see the person it has made you?
DARON: Yeah, father, but it's pretty God damned *catches himself* sorry, it's pretty messed up to have to go through all of this to get to that point.
PRIEST: If you ask me, I feel like you are on the right path. Do you have anything else to talk about, young man?
DARON: If I have to be honest...I don't trust this David Carroll guy.
PRIEST: Why do you deem him untrustworthy? Who are you to judge his character?
DARON: Years ago, my mom and I attended church regularly. The best part? Father Pat Condron. A leader, a kind man. But, the Archdiocese took advantage of his good nature. They put him as Pastor of three separate churches at the same time. They worked that guy to the bone. That man was as Christ-like as anyone I've met on this planet, maybe even equal footing to my mom. They used and abused him and one day, he just quit. Gave it all up. He was a man I believed in.
So, the Archdiocese hires Father Ron Prectyl. You know what his homilies were? No, not stories relating the scripture into modern settings. No, this guy read the fundraiser information, word for word. He was a fake, a phony.
In my heart, despite all of my imperfections, despite all of my wrongdoing, I KNOW this David Carroll is a fake. When I was younger, my grandfather told me: "Confidence is silent, insecurity is loud." And that stuck with me. This guy can't help but profess how holy, how perfect he is. Something about that strikes me the wrong way. I feel like he's on my side, but not? Does that make sense?
PRIEST: Of course, my son. You've lived a life where it's hard to trust anyone, let alone a man who makes false promises. In my mind, you haven't committed a sin. Hardly. You've just needed someone to talk to and if you ever need that again...I'm always here.
DARON: *meekly* Um...thanks? Father, I appreciate the listening and the lack of judgment.
For Daron, this was a pivotal moment. He was facing his past and his present, acknowledging his flaws and failings, but also seeking forgiveness and a path forward. As he left the church that evening, the rain still falling, he felt a sense of lightness and clarity he hadn't experienced in years. He knew that his relationship with the church would always be complicated, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like he was on the right path.
For Daron, this was no ordinary walk. He was heading to the church to attend confessional, something he hadn't done in over five years. He had always had a complicated relationship with the church, at times feeling a deep connection to his faith and the community it provided, but at other times feeling disillusioned and angry at the hypocrisy and corruption he saw within the institution.
The memories of those negative experiences weighed heavy on his mind as he walked, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation as he approached the church doors. Would he be judged for his absence, or welcomed back with open arms? Would the priest understand his struggles, or dismiss them as weakness?
Daron took a deep breath and pushed open the heavy wooden door, the familiar scent of incense and wax candles enveloping him as he stepped inside. The interior of the church was dimly lit, the glow of the candles casting flickering shadows on the walls. Despite the gloom, Daron could feel the sense of peace that always seemed to permeate the air within these walls.
He made his way to the confessional booth, his heart pounding in his chest. As he sat down and began to speak to the priest on the other side of the partition, he felt a flood of emotions wash over him. Guilt, shame, fear, but also a glimmer of hope and a desire for redemption.
DARON: *deep sigh before making the sign of the cross* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been over five years since my last confession...
PRIEST: Please, have a seat. The church is always welcoming even to those that have been gone for a long time...
DARON: *shifting uncomfortablly* See...that's the thing, Father. I've never felt all that welcome by the church. The last time I was in a church it was to bury my dad, about five years ago and even so...
PRIEST: It doesn't matter how long you've been gone, my son. As long as you come back.
DARON: *laughs* Son, huh? I buried my actual father near this church five years ago - you know my first memory of my dad?
PRIEST: I'm sure it was something wonderful...
DARON: *scoffs* Yeah...I was about two and a half. My mom found out my dad was cheating and finally called him out for his bullshit. He, in a cocaine fueled rage, threw a chair across the room at her. It came about eighteen inches from me. My mom finally mustered the courage to tell him to get out.
PRIEST: Surely, you must see God's protection in that moment?
DARON: God's protection?! Hell, my dad ran around scot free for at least seven years after that and my mom never saw a dime. He ran around with every skirt who came into his restaurant. Meanwhile, my mom struggled to make ends meet - worked her ass off every single day to provide while at the same time having door after door shut in her face. I admired her as a young child - watched her work her way up in an accounting firm in 1989 when that firm suddenly decided a degree was more valuable than her experience and let her go. In a depressed area like Wheeling, West Virginia, good jobs were hard to come by. But that lady did everything she could - she brushed herself off, went back to school, got a new job, and these days? She's doing better than ever.
PRIEST: Surely, you can see God's plan play out in her.
DARON: You mean all that struggle? No matter what she did it took 30+ years for her to live comfortably? Meanwhile the man who cheated and beat her got to run around town doing as he pleased? Tell me how that's fair, huh? Tell me how to find the God in that one, padre.
PRIEST: In the end, she is doing well - aren't you happy for her now?
DARON: My mom will never have to work another day in her life if she doesn't want to when I win that UWL World Championship. She says she will, but I won't allow it. I'll buy that house she's been renting that she loves. I'll put the money aside for her expenses. I'll make sure she's well taken care of.
PRIEST: Despite all the hardships you've gone through, you can't see the person it has made you?
DARON: Yeah, father, but it's pretty God damned *catches himself* sorry, it's pretty messed up to have to go through all of this to get to that point.
PRIEST: If you ask me, I feel like you are on the right path. Do you have anything else to talk about, young man?
DARON: If I have to be honest...I don't trust this David Carroll guy.
PRIEST: Why do you deem him untrustworthy? Who are you to judge his character?
DARON: Years ago, my mom and I attended church regularly. The best part? Father Pat Condron. A leader, a kind man. But, the Archdiocese took advantage of his good nature. They put him as Pastor of three separate churches at the same time. They worked that guy to the bone. That man was as Christ-like as anyone I've met on this planet, maybe even equal footing to my mom. They used and abused him and one day, he just quit. Gave it all up. He was a man I believed in.
So, the Archdiocese hires Father Ron Prectyl. You know what his homilies were? No, not stories relating the scripture into modern settings. No, this guy read the fundraiser information, word for word. He was a fake, a phony.
In my heart, despite all of my imperfections, despite all of my wrongdoing, I KNOW this David Carroll is a fake. When I was younger, my grandfather told me: "Confidence is silent, insecurity is loud." And that stuck with me. This guy can't help but profess how holy, how perfect he is. Something about that strikes me the wrong way. I feel like he's on my side, but not? Does that make sense?
PRIEST: Of course, my son. You've lived a life where it's hard to trust anyone, let alone a man who makes false promises. In my mind, you haven't committed a sin. Hardly. You've just needed someone to talk to and if you ever need that again...I'm always here.
DARON: *meekly* Um...thanks? Father, I appreciate the listening and the lack of judgment.
For Daron, this was a pivotal moment. He was facing his past and his present, acknowledging his flaws and failings, but also seeking forgiveness and a path forward. As he left the church that evening, the rain still falling, he felt a sense of lightness and clarity he hadn't experienced in years. He knew that his relationship with the church would always be complicated, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like he was on the right path.