Post by Cory Chevelle on Jun 6, 2023 20:04:03 GMT -5
UWL Presents
We open to a view of the Appalachian mountains, panning across the wide open country side. It's a beautiful scene, and the camera man seems to catch the pale blue mist of the early morning just right. The shit moves inward, deep into the timber alongside the mountain side where we come to a view of Cory Chevelle and a couple local 'good ol boys' who's faces are blurred as they tend to the brewing still in front of them.
"My lord it smells lovely out here."
"Yessireee, wait til ye getcha a nip'r two. If you were t'take ye a jar of this and swig a horn before yer match..."
"Everett, shut'da hell up already and hand him this jar. It ain't erryday we got us a celebrity to entertain, hell he might be related. Errybody calls him the Hellbilly for a reason. And brother Billy vouched for 'eem."
That ain't a jar of honey and it sure as hell isn't a bottle of Fiji they hand Chevy. Chevy takes a nip and steps back, as he exhales and feels the fumes leaving the back of his throat and the tip of his tongue. It's a shit he felt from head to the tips of his toes. He nods with great approval.
"God Damn!"
"Purdy good ayyy? I toldjee Chevy!"
"You boys deliver to Missouri? I'm kidding."
Chevelle looks into the camera.
"Cory Chevelle does not support nor approve of any illegal trade regarding alcohol or anything else. Always drink responsible. But if you find yourself too drunk, remember fat girls are easy and they'll take anyone home so you ain't gotta drive!"
"He's right err, wait can I talk to that guy too or nah?
"Sure that's what I pay him for! Lemme get another nip off this "
"Well I just want'd to say my wife, she's kinda..well that's how we met."
"Really now? I figured you were going to say you met at the family reunion."
"Oh no, that's how Everett and his wife met."
"Well, I surely do envy you and Everett, Cletus. I was married once. Then I realized I didn't like ball and chains. Gave me three beautiful children though."
"Oh speaking of children here's a picture of mine..."
The picture isn't viewable but the look on Chevy's face...
"Is that... Does that boy have a lazy eye or is that a third ear on the side of his face?"
"That's his birth mark. It runs in the family."
"I bet it does."
"Best looking lil man this side of the mountain!"
"I'm sure the competition is fierce, Cletus. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta promote my match before I get too drunk and start searching for a popular scandalous lady to skull fu[DJ SCRATCH]"
"EY I got'r seest'r I could help ye out with!"
"No thank you, Everett."
Panning away from the inbred hillbilly mountain-folk, and focusing solely on Cory Chevelle who stands straight, with a jar of shine still in his hand. Chevy takes another swig and let's it set in his mouth a second or two before gulping it down and shaking it off.
"Alright, let's get down to business. In four days ladies and gentlemen; From the Bojangles Coliseum, four men will walk into that ring to compete for UWL Television Championship! It's gonna be a match of the year candidate or my name ain't Cory Chevelle! I know we haven't heard much out of my opponents. I can't imagine why. BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED!"
"That's right, scared. Especially you Billy. This is what I'm talking about about in regards to our locker room. You boys lack initiative. You lack alotta things actually.. balls included. But it's in, I'll sell these tickets, I'll take time out of my busy schedule and promote this match through the god damn ceiling. I don't mind!"
Chevelle takes another sip, then shakes his head real quick.
"This is why I'm going to eat my way through the roster and win gold after gold. I'm not taking it easy, I'm not stopping for a breather. I do nothing but eat, sleep, and breathe this business while you jokers are only playing wrestling."
"Chevy don't play. Chevy's gonna kill you."
"It doesn't matter to me if it's Mark, David, or Billy. Hell I may just stack all three of yer ass's and cover you with my boot for win! Wake the hell up already! I expected some good ol trash talk from Billy at least. But nope. Aside from David's creepy lil ass coming on like a Catholic priest by candle light..."
"Don't sit on his lap."
"Not a peep. I don't know America.. I can't even tell if these boys wanna be here, or if they even care. In my day, I made that title mean just as much as the triple crown which Caleb carried. I guess things are different now."
"So this week we're gonna fix that. Welcome to Silverback Country!"
"RUN!"
Fade to black
We open to a view of the Appalachian mountains, panning across the wide open country side. It's a beautiful scene, and the camera man seems to catch the pale blue mist of the early morning just right. The shit moves inward, deep into the timber alongside the mountain side where we come to a view of Cory Chevelle and a couple local 'good ol boys' who's faces are blurred as they tend to the brewing still in front of them.
"My lord it smells lovely out here."
"Yessireee, wait til ye getcha a nip'r two. If you were t'take ye a jar of this and swig a horn before yer match..."
"Everett, shut'da hell up already and hand him this jar. It ain't erryday we got us a celebrity to entertain, hell he might be related. Errybody calls him the Hellbilly for a reason. And brother Billy vouched for 'eem."
That ain't a jar of honey and it sure as hell isn't a bottle of Fiji they hand Chevy. Chevy takes a nip and steps back, as he exhales and feels the fumes leaving the back of his throat and the tip of his tongue. It's a shit he felt from head to the tips of his toes. He nods with great approval.
"God Damn!"
"Purdy good ayyy? I toldjee Chevy!"
"You boys deliver to Missouri? I'm kidding."
Chevelle looks into the camera.
"Cory Chevelle does not support nor approve of any illegal trade regarding alcohol or anything else. Always drink responsible. But if you find yourself too drunk, remember fat girls are easy and they'll take anyone home so you ain't gotta drive!"
"He's right err, wait can I talk to that guy too or nah?
"Sure that's what I pay him for! Lemme get another nip off this "
"Well I just want'd to say my wife, she's kinda..well that's how we met."
"Really now? I figured you were going to say you met at the family reunion."
"Oh no, that's how Everett and his wife met."
"Well, I surely do envy you and Everett, Cletus. I was married once. Then I realized I didn't like ball and chains. Gave me three beautiful children though."
"Oh speaking of children here's a picture of mine..."
The picture isn't viewable but the look on Chevy's face...
"Is that... Does that boy have a lazy eye or is that a third ear on the side of his face?"
"That's his birth mark. It runs in the family."
"I bet it does."
"Best looking lil man this side of the mountain!"
"I'm sure the competition is fierce, Cletus. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta promote my match before I get too drunk and start searching for a popular scandalous lady to skull fu[DJ SCRATCH]"
"EY I got'r seest'r I could help ye out with!"
"No thank you, Everett."
Panning away from the inbred hillbilly mountain-folk, and focusing solely on Cory Chevelle who stands straight, with a jar of shine still in his hand. Chevy takes another swig and let's it set in his mouth a second or two before gulping it down and shaking it off.
"Alright, let's get down to business. In four days ladies and gentlemen; From the Bojangles Coliseum, four men will walk into that ring to compete for UWL Television Championship! It's gonna be a match of the year candidate or my name ain't Cory Chevelle! I know we haven't heard much out of my opponents. I can't imagine why. BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED!"
"That's right, scared. Especially you Billy. This is what I'm talking about about in regards to our locker room. You boys lack initiative. You lack alotta things actually.. balls included. But it's in, I'll sell these tickets, I'll take time out of my busy schedule and promote this match through the god damn ceiling. I don't mind!"
Chevelle takes another sip, then shakes his head real quick.
"This is why I'm going to eat my way through the roster and win gold after gold. I'm not taking it easy, I'm not stopping for a breather. I do nothing but eat, sleep, and breathe this business while you jokers are only playing wrestling."
"Chevy don't play. Chevy's gonna kill you."
"It doesn't matter to me if it's Mark, David, or Billy. Hell I may just stack all three of yer ass's and cover you with my boot for win! Wake the hell up already! I expected some good ol trash talk from Billy at least. But nope. Aside from David's creepy lil ass coming on like a Catholic priest by candle light..."
"Don't sit on his lap."
"Not a peep. I don't know America.. I can't even tell if these boys wanna be here, or if they even care. In my day, I made that title mean just as much as the triple crown which Caleb carried. I guess things are different now."
"So this week we're gonna fix that. Welcome to Silverback Country!"
"RUN!"
Fade to black
