UWL Eruption 10-14-23

The picture cuts across the arena and cuts to the ring.



Emily Lyle - The following contest is set for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit!

The phrase is sung out and "I'm The Coolest" by Alice Cooper hits the speakers. Ace tears through the curtain to the stage strutting out slowly pushing his sunglasses down on the edge of his nose looking out at the crowd. Ace struts around the stage looking at the crowd on each side. Ace slowly makes his way down the aisle moving slowly to the ring apron, turning looking back up the aisle at the entrance before turning around facing back at the ring. Ace turns around and jumps over the top rope into the ring where he runs and jumps into a corner, nodding his head to his theme music before jumping down and circling around the ring.

Starr motions to Emily Lyle to hush and takes the microphone from her.

Ace Starr - For all of you who were expecting to see me wrestle tonight. Think again.

Starr laughs as he listens to the boos.

Ace Starr - You people can boo all you want I don't care. So sit there and shut up.

The crowd gets louder booing.

Ace Starr - Everyone knows I am the coolest man that very lived. So to see me wrestle you people are going have to pay to see me wrestle. I will not wrestle in front of all you Tennessee hicks here tonight.

Starr moves his sunglasses down to the edge of his nose.

Ace Starr - So tonight you people are out of luck to see the Coolest Man who ever lived.

Starr tosses the microphone and exits the ring. Starr struts up the aisle as he ignores the fans around him booing him.

The show cuts to a break.

We cut to the words, “recorded earlier this week”, and then see Sonya Benson sitting inside the Oval Office. She’s adorned in her most lavish and professional white-n-gold pantsuit like she too is a political powerhouse. Across from her is President Biden, sitting in his mighty Presidential chair and sporting that clueless but smiling face he wears so well.

They both appear to be at the tail-end of the conversation.

President Biden: I’m sorry that the Chess Player’s Association did you so dirty, and upon your request I’ll definitely be banning National Chess Day this Saturday, the, uh, the uh, the uh, the uh, ..

Sonya Benson: The 14th. The day I wrestle Jeremy Riggs in the UWL down in *visibly shudders with disgust* Ten-Uh-See hur dur.

Biden nods and presses a button on his desk. An aide walks in and hands both of them an ice cream cone. Biden goes about licking it sloppily, seeming to forget where he is and what he is. Meanwhile, Sonya seems to be on her best behavior and delicately licks on her ice cream.

President Biden: I love licking ice cream cones almost as much as I love licking my arm hairs. One time I- uh.. Uh.. Oh right, you said something about Tennessee. Do you want me to ban Tennessee too?

Benson looks at him like he has a penis growing out of his forehead.

Sonya Benson: Pretty sure you can’t do that, Mr. President. Anyway, you’ve done more than enough banning National Chess Day at my behest. It’s basically a terrorist game these days.

A glassy-eyed expression overtakes the President and he winces.

Sonya Benson: Brain Freeze?

He shakes his head no.

President Biden: What is in a brain? Did you say, a terrorist? Let me tell you something, my fellow Americans. We will not let terrorism win. Not here. Not anywhere else. We stand by our allies and pledge our full support.

Sonya looks behind her, wondering who he is talking to because it certainly doesn’t seem like her.

Sonya Benson: Good speech, sir. I think I’ll take my leave now. Thank you so much for what you’ve done here today.

The President is too weak to finish the ice cream cone and tosses it into a desk drawer.

President Biden: I always support those who support me and the great Americans I serve. Thank you for the generous donations you and your family have given over the years.

She stands and he leaves his desk to escort her to the door. They shake hands, and he leans in, giving her a long sniff, enjoying her intoxicating and pleasing scent. Sonya freezes up and endures it like most people do, then quickly but respectfully slinks out the door.

Now, we cut to the present, live. The Universal-Tron shows the backstage area where a smug Sonya Benson, clad in her half mask, wags her head cockily as Abby Joseph stares at her.

Abby Joseph: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m here with Sonya Benson, and well, I gotta say, what’s up with your meeting with the President of the United States. You were able to convince him to ban National Chess Day today, which sparked riots in the chess parks all across the nation.

Sonya Benson: First of all, chess is a terrorist game. Well, that’s what I told Biden anyway. The National Chess Association banned me from competing long ago for “cheating” which was never proven, so this was my get-back. Secondly, I wanted to flex on Jeremy Riggs. I can meet with the President of the United States at my leisure, meanwhile, the biggest celebrity Jeremy Riggs has ever met is probably his state’s regional tough man competition winner. Riggs is a smelly nincompoop who better be damn glad today wasn’t Nation Mullet Day or I would have had Biden make him shave his fugly half-sucked milk dud looking head.

Benson bursts out laughing, even going so far as to slap her knee for emphasis on how funny she thinks she is. The crowd watching this buffoonery on the tron boo the fuck out of her.

Abby Joseph: Are you sure you should be poking the bear with Jeremy, considering your novice level of wrestling ability?

Abby braces for a backlash, but surprisingly Sonya casts the notion aside with a dismissive gesture.

Sonya Benson: Jeremy is a veteran who can’t quite put things together in the ring, yet here I am, not even a wrestler really, and I’ve already put it together. Honestly? Jeremy’s inability to put things together, save for that win against Titus back in 2020, isn’t even his fault. He’s from Virginia after all. Roanoke of all places. Uh, yah, third-largest inbreeding area in America, bested only by Arkansas and good ole Ten-Uh-See here. *suddenly gets a hillbilly mocking voice* So just watch me out dur tonight. Imma beat dat dayum ass of his like he done did stoled my sister-cousin and took her out for a burger and a bah gawd shake. Imma beat the cotton-pickin’ brakes plum off that boy. Yee-Haw!

She commits the sin of doing the “hook em horns” gesture, which is a Texas football thing, not a Tennessee football thing. This lights a fire under the already jeering masses, who now want to riot when she comes out.

Abby tries to say something else, but Sonya pie-faces her out of her way and exits the frame.

The picture cuts across the arena and cuts to the ring.



Emily Lyle - The following contest is set for one fall with a sixty minute time limit and it is for the UWL Tag Team Championship!

The echoing sounds of Sharpe Dressed Man by ZZ Top blast through the arena. Mike Mitchell steps out in front of the crowd. Standing with him is his tag team partner, Kevin Hamilton. They make their way down the aisle slapping hands with the fans.

Emily Lyle - From Los Angeles, California, at a total combined weight of four hundred and forty two pounds, Mike Mitchell and Kevin Hamilton, the Fantastic Ones!!

They make their way into the ring, throwing their arms in the air as the fans are firmly behind them.

The lights go out and suddenly Mamma Said Knock You Out begins to play a spotlight ascends upon the entrance and out steps Garland Brown and Silas Adler, Absolution. They step up and look at the crowd slowly walking down the aisle.

Emily Lyle - At a total combined weight of four hundred and eighty nine pounds, Garland Brown and Silas Adler, they are the UWL Tag Team Champions, Absolution!!

Brown and Adler go to their corner with an intense look on their faces.

Cliff Morris – This is a battle of two teams that know one another very well for the UWL Tag Team Championship.

Logan Acker – The Fantastic Ones got a win over Absolution at Parade of Champions in the Round Robin Challenge to take the UWL Tag Team Championship only to see Absolution win them back in the last match of the Round Robin Challenge.

The bell sounds. Starting the match off are Kevin Hamilton and Silas Adler. They circle one another, slowly moving into a collar and elbow tie-up. Adler walks Hamilton against the ropes, and the referee calls for a break. Hamilton turns Adler against the ropes. They move out of the corner, still locked up. Adler goes around on Hamilton with a rear waistlock. Hamilton turns and grabs Adler, hip-tossing him over. Adler crawls back against the ropes, staring at Hamilton after the hip toss.

Cliff Morris – The Fanatic Ones are in control and have Absolution reeling against the ropes.

Logan Acker – Absolution has never been thrown around like this before. They're not used to any of this.

Adler rises up off the mat. They circle one another. They lock back up. Hamilton takes Adler into a side headlock. Adler sends him off. Hamilton runs off the ropes back at Adler; he drops down, and Hamilton runs over him back into the ropes. He runs back at Adler and leapfrogs over him. Hamilton runs back into the ropes. He comes back off the ropes. Hamilton runs right at Adler; he grabs him up, throwing him a suplex. Adler kips up and stretches his arms out, walking across the ring.

Cliff Morris – Silas Adler threw Kevin Hamilton a suplex.

Logan Acker – Absolution doesn't care who stands in their way. They'll toss you around like you're nothing and not give it a second thought.

Adler runs at Hamilton, kicking him in the side of his head. Adler turns, and he tags in Brown. He comes into the ring, and he looks around with a grin on his face. Garlan Brown comes at Hamilton as he’s getting up to his feet. He leans over, ramming his shoulder into his stomach and running him back into the corner. The referee calls for a break. Brown rams his shoulder repeatedly in the stomach of Hamilton in the corner, and the referee calls for them to back it out of the corner.

Cliff Morris – Oh, come on now. Get it out of the corner!

Logan Acker – The referee can't get Garlan Brown out of the corner.

Brown steps back. He looks around with a grin on his face. He comes back at Hamilton but gets met with a pair of punches, which stun him. Hamilton nails him with a pair of leg kicks, which stun Brown. He comes at him, nailing him with an enziguri, which sends Brown down to the mat. Hamilton turns, and he tags the outstretched hand of Mike Mitchell.

Cliff Morris – Mike Mitchell with the tag and listen to this crowd!

Mitchell runs at Brown, nailing him with a running kick. He pulls him up off the mat, sending him to the ropes. Brown comes off the ropes. Brown comes off the ropes. Mitchell leans over, flipping Brown over with a back body drop. Brown flips and flops on the mat, grimacing in pain. Mitchell pulls him up to his feet. He grabs Brown by his arm and throws him down with a dragon suplex. Mitchell turns up to his feet and looks out at the crowd, grinning from ear to ear.

Cliff Morris – Mike Mitchell is shaken up, holding the back of his head and neck.

Logan Acker – Mike Mitchell needs to make a tag!

Mitchell turns and grabs Brown around his head, throwing him into the corner with a suplex. Mitchell looks up, and Hamilton has his hand stretched out. Mitchell rises to his feet and looks at Hamilton, grinning from ear to ear. Mitchell tags Hamilton. He nails Brown with knee strikes. He sends him off into the ropes. Brown comes back off the ropes. Hamilton runs at him, nailing him with a spinning wheel kick. Hamilton rises up off the mat. He looks at Brown getting up off the mat. Hamilton runs at him, and he pulls him up to his feet. He sends him into the corner. Hamilton runs in at him, and Brown dodges out of the way. Hamilton slams his chest first into the corner.

Cliff Morris – Kevin Hamilton slams into the turnbuckles with tremendous force.

Logan Acker – That was a huge mistake! It may come back to haunt the Fantastic Ones.

Brown tags Adler. He comes into the ring. He runs at Hamilton in the corner, hitting him with a splash. He steps back as Hamilton comes out of the corner. Adler grabs him, throwing him down with a German suplex. Mitchell looks on from the corner, screaming and clapping his hands. Adler runs over, grabbing Hamilton as he rises off the mat. He sends him to the ropes. Hamilton comes off the ropes. Adler goes for a clothesline, and Hamilton ducks under. Before Adler can turn, Hamilton drops him with a backstab. Adler rolls around, arching his back in pain. Hamilton lays on the mat, gathering himself.

Cliff Morris – Kevin Hamilton is gathering himself, and he needs to make a tag!

Hamilton rises slowly off the mat. He tags in Mitchell. He comes in and cleans, grabs Adler up to his feet, and nails him with repeated punches to the side of his head. Mitchell sends him into the ropes. Adler comes off the ropes, and Mitchell nails him with a big boot, which staggers him. Mitchell turns him inside and out with a discus clothesline. Mitchell pulls him up to his feet. He sends him into the ropes. Mitchell grabs Adler up; he turns, planting him hard into the mat with a spinebuster. Mitchell bounces up to his feet. He stands over the fallen Adler. He jumps into the air, landing on him with an elbow drop. Mitchell rises up, and he tags Hamilton back in the mat.

Cliff Morris — Mike Mitchell with the tag!

Logan Acker – Listen to this crowd as they make a tag!

Hamilton comes in and starts pounding away on Adler with repeated punches. He pulls him around into a front facelock. He lifts him up for a suplex. As Hamilton has Adler up, Brown reaches under the bottom rope, jerking his feet out from under him, causing Adler to fall across Hamilton as he covers him. Brown pulls Hamilton’s leg down. The referee counts.

1..

2..

3..

Adler leaps through the ropes out to the floor. Brown and Adler take the UWL Tag Team Championship belts as they stand on the floor as Hamilton and Mitchell are in shock in the ring.

Emily Lyle - The winners of this match and STILL!!! UWL Tag Team Champions Absolution!!!

Hamilton and Mitchell are talking to the referee in frustration as Brown and Alder stand outside the ring with the belts held high into the air.

The show cuts to a break.

Abby Joseph is standing next to Jenna Jillian Walker.

Abby Joseph: I am standing here with Jenna Jillian Walker. Jenna, you are stepping back into the ring tonight with BRADDOCK to determine the number one contender for the UWL Television Championship. What are your thoughts?

Jenna Jillian Walker: When I was a little girl and I first became a fan of this great sport I was always drawn to the Television Championship even over the World Heavyweight Championship. Not that the World Championship isn’t prestigious because we know it is but what I loved about the Television Championship is that this championship was week in and week out the most active championship out there. It goes hand and hand for my love of wrestling.

Abby Joseph: :But to get there you have to step back into the ring with a man who has defeated you before in an UWL ring.

Jenna Jillian Walker: BRADDOCK is a double tough guy. He likes to chew on glass and other crazy stuff like that. Would you do that Abby much less even consider that?

Abby Joseph: :(Shakes her head no)Not even in the slightest.

Jenna Jillian Walker: Exactly, Abby. Like I’ve said before BRADDOCK makes me think he should have been on a migrant farm in California but here we are. Regardless of that I actually do respect BRADDOCK.

Abby Joseph: :So how will tonight be different from the last time the two of you stepped into the ring together?

Jenna Jillian Walker: Not only in my preparation physically for this match I studied our last match as well as any of his other matches that I could find of him.

Abby Joseph: :So you are feeling confident headed into the match tonight?

Jenna Jillian Walker: I got my mind right and prepared myself for tonight and do whatever it takes to gain this opportunity to become the UWL World Television Champion.